I don't think it's too important to be concerned about personal preference in mundane things, such as movies, music, hobbies etc, and get offended when others disagree with preferences.
Anything that is transitory and impermenant is not really something to get all offended about. Even getting offended in itself is because a person wants to consider themselves the central enjoying agent in life, and so anything that does not please their personal preference is seen as a thing to get very reactive about.
The way I relate to things is this, if something wants to degrade something that is fully representitive of a divine transcendent source - then that is okay to defend, because if people want to not suffer in the long run they have to be open to following the specifications of the divine transcendent source.
But, there is no need to defend anything that is other then that. I might like eating tofu, if someone hates it... oh well... I don't need to waist my time and energy trying to defend the goodness and virtues of tofu, as tofu in itself is not going to save anyone from repeated birth and death.
Getting so worked up about defending ones own personal preferences that are based on oneself as the central enjoying agent is just worthless exercise. Even more worthless is to defend the personal preferences of others and take personal offense from it.
I dont take my personal preference based on myself as the reference point so seriously that I am willing to be offended if someone disagrees, but I do like to discourage people from putting too much passion into dead end things, because I don't like the idea of people suffering.
Of course if a persons goal is to put passion into all their personal preferences and just go about following them and thinking they have some sort of "birth right" to do so and that all the universe is just going to bow down to their personal will and desire, then it is pointless me trying to discourage them, as it is like butting a head against a brick wall - so in those times I think from now on I will just practice being silent.
But if someone has had some exposure to something beyond it, even if just a little, I always like to give them the benefit of the doubt that they might have developed some little intelligence to be able to get why it is not so beneficial to consider the mundane/transient personal/selfish preferences, to be so important.
Monday, July 25, 2011
What women should make known to a man who is attracted/attached to her.
From the Shiva Purana:
"The woman can well be compared with the God of death, Yama, Antaka, Patala, submarine fire, the sharp edge of the sword, poison, serpents and fire, all put together."
"The pleasure one derives from the company of a woman, is equal to the pleasure derived from a boil by removing the puss. There is nothing more to it."
"A leprous monkey, when it scratches itself having been afflicted with worms, the same pleasure is derived by cohabiting with a woman."
"The comfort one gets with the release of the filfth and urine, the same type of pleasure is achieved from the woman. The fool interprets the same differently."
--
I would think a lot of women would be offended by the above.... but I think it is better for women to not think they are the "be all and end all" of a mans existence.
There is just to much feminine vanity/arrogance/exhibitionism/crassness around nowadays under the guise of "true female power".
They are also good lines to use if you have some unwanted male attention, but I wouldn't bother using the urine/filth one on males nowadays, because people are so degraded, it is quite predictable that the response would be something like this: "Wow... I've been really underestimating how much pleasure relief I can really get from relieving my bladder... now I know its just the same as having sex with a woman, which is like the best pleasure relief around... now I can really enjoy going to the toilet!...."
Of course bladder/bowel relief have already been combined with sexual activity by crass people, so that is another reason why that example might not be so effective.
As we go on, people are getting more mix and matchey with all sorts of things... nearly everything is going to be reduced to something that will be able to "pleasure the genitals" in some way.
Crass people everywhere are very excited about the potential in this, and they are also very defensive of the pleasure derived from their genitals.
There is little interest in personal honour, and not going below personal standards of behaviour, because all those standards are just seen as "inhibitions" to exploration.
"The woman can well be compared with the God of death, Yama, Antaka, Patala, submarine fire, the sharp edge of the sword, poison, serpents and fire, all put together."
"The pleasure one derives from the company of a woman, is equal to the pleasure derived from a boil by removing the puss. There is nothing more to it."
"A leprous monkey, when it scratches itself having been afflicted with worms, the same pleasure is derived by cohabiting with a woman."
"The comfort one gets with the release of the filfth and urine, the same type of pleasure is achieved from the woman. The fool interprets the same differently."
--
I would think a lot of women would be offended by the above.... but I think it is better for women to not think they are the "be all and end all" of a mans existence.
There is just to much feminine vanity/arrogance/exhibitionism/crassness around nowadays under the guise of "true female power".
They are also good lines to use if you have some unwanted male attention, but I wouldn't bother using the urine/filth one on males nowadays, because people are so degraded, it is quite predictable that the response would be something like this: "Wow... I've been really underestimating how much pleasure relief I can really get from relieving my bladder... now I know its just the same as having sex with a woman, which is like the best pleasure relief around... now I can really enjoy going to the toilet!...."
Of course bladder/bowel relief have already been combined with sexual activity by crass people, so that is another reason why that example might not be so effective.
As we go on, people are getting more mix and matchey with all sorts of things... nearly everything is going to be reduced to something that will be able to "pleasure the genitals" in some way.
Crass people everywhere are very excited about the potential in this, and they are also very defensive of the pleasure derived from their genitals.
There is little interest in personal honour, and not going below personal standards of behaviour, because all those standards are just seen as "inhibitions" to exploration.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Trauma
My life has taught me that no-one can really be relied on and that relying on a temporary form is pointless anyway.
That is my desire to not develop attachment to temporary forms, the water element aspect of memory can really really hold on to impressions.... it is painful to miss those who you are attached to... and slowly over time I have been able to stop making those attachments, and now I do not place security on others so it is not very pronounced....
Physical pain from injury is much worse... there is more fear and worry about loosing functioning ability and what that means for the future. Even in someone like me who has never really felt to strongly attached to my physical body.
Fear and panic and trauma. The way the body holds on to trauma is rather odd, the body memory that is there... one can really relate to the animal forms in this way, in the ways that animals are constantly traumatised in this day and age.
I like to try and self-heal, and put my faith in deities and other natural therapy techniques, of course it is also a time to reflect about what I am doing wrong in my life and make some changes.
That is my desire to not develop attachment to temporary forms, the water element aspect of memory can really really hold on to impressions.... it is painful to miss those who you are attached to... and slowly over time I have been able to stop making those attachments, and now I do not place security on others so it is not very pronounced....
Physical pain from injury is much worse... there is more fear and worry about loosing functioning ability and what that means for the future. Even in someone like me who has never really felt to strongly attached to my physical body.
Fear and panic and trauma. The way the body holds on to trauma is rather odd, the body memory that is there... one can really relate to the animal forms in this way, in the ways that animals are constantly traumatised in this day and age.
I like to try and self-heal, and put my faith in deities and other natural therapy techniques, of course it is also a time to reflect about what I am doing wrong in my life and make some changes.
Seeking defeat?
Are those who seek to win, and be extremely powerful.. really seeking that?
More likely they are seeking to loose, to be absolutely defeated... if you never aim for anything and are defeated by time, it's not really such a thing.... you prefer to go by un-noticed... but there can be a sort of intoxication in seeking to be defeated, which is more sweeter the more you can build yourself up.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Quivering
The way she looks at him
And the way he looks at her...
Flowers bloom
Spring has come,
And the leaves are
quivering
quivering
quivering
again...
The way he looks at her
And the way she looks at him...
Lightening Strike,
Electricity
And the storm has come again...
The wind howls his name
And the dark clouds carry his rains
From compassionate eyes,
Tear drops fall
Nourishing
Nourshing
Nourishing
The earth again.
And the way he looks at her...
Flowers bloom
Spring has come,
And the leaves are
quivering
quivering
quivering
again...
He cannot be moved,
He cannot be shaken.
Even the god of love was reduced to dust.
Spring has come.
And the leaves are
quivering,
quivering
quivering
again.
The way he looks at her
And the way she looks at him...
Lightening Strike,
Electricity
And the storm has come again...
The wind howls his name
And the dark clouds carry his rains
From compassionate eyes,
Tear drops fall
Nourishing
Nourshing
Nourishing
The earth again.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Intent
It is really easy in life to get into a situation where you feel a sense of goodness about what you are doing, which can act as a justification, a wall against any criticisms of others.
Practically this sort of pride that develops is not very helpful, but it is obvious that those who are more sensitive to criticisms will be more likely to use this tactic to protect their sensitivities, mostly in a manner that they are not conscious of doing.
Not only does this pride cut one off from progressing along, and growing and changing, it also makes life uncomfortable for others one interacts with, as there is always this constant underlying tension.
One can become extremely reactive against perceived attacks to their sense of goodness as a person, and lash out at anyone who is not in support of such a view.
This can lead to a certain paranoia, where one is always constantly waiting for others to destroy their sense of goodness, and always overly reactive to subtleties and nuances in the speech, and actions of others.
If one really observes one's own psychology, one can recognise that a lot of the uncomfortableness one feels in conversation with others - is because some sort of projection and reading into the situation - usually based around ones own self "how is that going to impact my life", is the under surface current constantly on repeat... "is that going to make my life more easy or difficult?" etc.
As I have been on both ends in my life I know what it is like on either side. I know what it is like to have what I say misinterpreted based on the fears of another, and also what it is like to relate to what others say based on my own fears.
As a female it is natural to look towards strong male figures for support, even if consciously this seems undesirable, it will still inform my reactions to people. As I came to the conclusion awhile ago that no human male could be reliable in that way, I decided it would be more secure to relate to a masculine deity who had a particular universal mission, who would always be consistent in representing that mission. Such a being could help give me a mental and emotional security, even if I am not actually connecting to the real deity and just some imagined view - which I'm sure is a potential trap that can occur, it can still give me a somewhat place to rest myself on a more subtle level.
But this does not really address the physical material side of things, with a real connection to a deity I'm sure that would be taken care of too, but obviously to win the deity over in order to achieve that material security, its a lot of hard work. And I'm mot necessarily talking about having magickal things happen like money suddenly appear on my doorstep, it could be as simple as feeling the support and power of the deity to help empower me to be able to do the required action needed to generate my own resources needed for survival etc.
At this point in my life I am still at a knowledge gathering stage, I feel there is lots of study to do, and generally along with the study comes the practice of chanting etc, which in turn produces certain insights, and reveals more subtle truths, and confirms more on an experiential level the truth of what one is studying.
Perhaps some day in this life I will feel I am ready to find a Guru, but at this stage I'm not so ready for that level of intimacy that comes with having to surrender to do what another being says 24/7.
At least now I am very sure that I am needing to follow a devotional path, and that has been strongly becoming more and more obvious in the past year or so. Previous to that I was sort of all over the place.
In the past I was out off by people who claimed to be following devotional paths that I met, and just didn't feel right about it. But I realised later that that was because the people I met were one of two types:
1) Were using the devotional path to worship their self, as they believed that they were ultimately God, but they just had not realised it completely yet. This is an over simplification of explaining it but I think the general gist is clear. There is a difference between those who use a devotional path to build a relationship with the supreme - where the supreme is considered to be an entity with actual characteristics in their own right.... and those that see the supreme as being pure unconditioned consciousness or complete non-difference from their own soul. I can understand now whilst I found being around these people uninspiring in the devotional path, and why it turned me off of it. If I believed that God was like they thought then I wouldn't be using the devotional path to realise that, I would be using a path based more on discriminative intelligence, and focusing solely on different meditational breath techniques, and self-inquiry.
2) Those who are on a devotional path who accept there as being some difference between them and God, but are really impaired in their intelligence. These sorts are actually looking for someone to take care of them and place restrictions on them at the same time, and they want to surrender to some teacher and use it as a crutch in a really childish sense. These are the sorts that are really insincere, but they are trying to really convince everyone that they are sincere by attempting to display the outer garb. And a lot of these people end up washed up sooner or later, and then blaming the former teachers or institutions they were following, instead of taking self-responsibility. These people would be better off accepting that they have ambitions and desires that are contrary to practicing a devotional path, and following those ambitions and desires to their conclusion until they become completely disillusioned with them. If you try to enforce disillusionment before all parts of you actually are disillusioned, it just ends up leading to strange repression.
Awhile ago I tried to do a 1 day and night chanting names of Vishnu, because of it being mentioned in a text, and I found out how hard it was to keep the mind focussed, and how a general boredom and disinterest started to spring up whilst doing it, and I realised that my heart just wasn't really in it, I could outwardly force myself to chant the names through discipline, but I couldn't force myself to be total in my intent... it really made me see how un-integrated I was.... I was looking out for any distraction, and just wishing that the day and night would be over already... it went so slow... and it almost felt torturous to do, but I kept pushing on, rather determined. It wasn't the sort of torture that say comes from working in an office... but it was the sort of torture that comes when parts of oneself are really resisting transformation.
Unless there is 100% integration then how can there be true sincerity? Intent needs to be total for their to be sincerity. As I went on in to the night, it was really cold, and I dosed off, but I was still chanting as I was dosing off, and even in the dream I had I was chanting whilst observing the dream, the dream was some mundane dream, informing of an incident that would happen the next day, and when I woke up I was still chanting... so not sure if that counts as completing 1 day and 1 night, maybe not, seeing there could of been moments where I completely stopped chanting and I just don't remember.
Practically this sort of pride that develops is not very helpful, but it is obvious that those who are more sensitive to criticisms will be more likely to use this tactic to protect their sensitivities, mostly in a manner that they are not conscious of doing.
Not only does this pride cut one off from progressing along, and growing and changing, it also makes life uncomfortable for others one interacts with, as there is always this constant underlying tension.
One can become extremely reactive against perceived attacks to their sense of goodness as a person, and lash out at anyone who is not in support of such a view.
This can lead to a certain paranoia, where one is always constantly waiting for others to destroy their sense of goodness, and always overly reactive to subtleties and nuances in the speech, and actions of others.
If one really observes one's own psychology, one can recognise that a lot of the uncomfortableness one feels in conversation with others - is because some sort of projection and reading into the situation - usually based around ones own self "how is that going to impact my life", is the under surface current constantly on repeat... "is that going to make my life more easy or difficult?" etc.
As I have been on both ends in my life I know what it is like on either side. I know what it is like to have what I say misinterpreted based on the fears of another, and also what it is like to relate to what others say based on my own fears.
As a female it is natural to look towards strong male figures for support, even if consciously this seems undesirable, it will still inform my reactions to people. As I came to the conclusion awhile ago that no human male could be reliable in that way, I decided it would be more secure to relate to a masculine deity who had a particular universal mission, who would always be consistent in representing that mission. Such a being could help give me a mental and emotional security, even if I am not actually connecting to the real deity and just some imagined view - which I'm sure is a potential trap that can occur, it can still give me a somewhat place to rest myself on a more subtle level.
But this does not really address the physical material side of things, with a real connection to a deity I'm sure that would be taken care of too, but obviously to win the deity over in order to achieve that material security, its a lot of hard work. And I'm mot necessarily talking about having magickal things happen like money suddenly appear on my doorstep, it could be as simple as feeling the support and power of the deity to help empower me to be able to do the required action needed to generate my own resources needed for survival etc.
At this point in my life I am still at a knowledge gathering stage, I feel there is lots of study to do, and generally along with the study comes the practice of chanting etc, which in turn produces certain insights, and reveals more subtle truths, and confirms more on an experiential level the truth of what one is studying.
Perhaps some day in this life I will feel I am ready to find a Guru, but at this stage I'm not so ready for that level of intimacy that comes with having to surrender to do what another being says 24/7.
At least now I am very sure that I am needing to follow a devotional path, and that has been strongly becoming more and more obvious in the past year or so. Previous to that I was sort of all over the place.
In the past I was out off by people who claimed to be following devotional paths that I met, and just didn't feel right about it. But I realised later that that was because the people I met were one of two types:
1) Were using the devotional path to worship their self, as they believed that they were ultimately God, but they just had not realised it completely yet. This is an over simplification of explaining it but I think the general gist is clear. There is a difference between those who use a devotional path to build a relationship with the supreme - where the supreme is considered to be an entity with actual characteristics in their own right.... and those that see the supreme as being pure unconditioned consciousness or complete non-difference from their own soul. I can understand now whilst I found being around these people uninspiring in the devotional path, and why it turned me off of it. If I believed that God was like they thought then I wouldn't be using the devotional path to realise that, I would be using a path based more on discriminative intelligence, and focusing solely on different meditational breath techniques, and self-inquiry.
2) Those who are on a devotional path who accept there as being some difference between them and God, but are really impaired in their intelligence. These sorts are actually looking for someone to take care of them and place restrictions on them at the same time, and they want to surrender to some teacher and use it as a crutch in a really childish sense. These are the sorts that are really insincere, but they are trying to really convince everyone that they are sincere by attempting to display the outer garb. And a lot of these people end up washed up sooner or later, and then blaming the former teachers or institutions they were following, instead of taking self-responsibility. These people would be better off accepting that they have ambitions and desires that are contrary to practicing a devotional path, and following those ambitions and desires to their conclusion until they become completely disillusioned with them. If you try to enforce disillusionment before all parts of you actually are disillusioned, it just ends up leading to strange repression.
Awhile ago I tried to do a 1 day and night chanting names of Vishnu, because of it being mentioned in a text, and I found out how hard it was to keep the mind focussed, and how a general boredom and disinterest started to spring up whilst doing it, and I realised that my heart just wasn't really in it, I could outwardly force myself to chant the names through discipline, but I couldn't force myself to be total in my intent... it really made me see how un-integrated I was.... I was looking out for any distraction, and just wishing that the day and night would be over already... it went so slow... and it almost felt torturous to do, but I kept pushing on, rather determined. It wasn't the sort of torture that say comes from working in an office... but it was the sort of torture that comes when parts of oneself are really resisting transformation.
Unless there is 100% integration then how can there be true sincerity? Intent needs to be total for their to be sincerity. As I went on in to the night, it was really cold, and I dosed off, but I was still chanting as I was dosing off, and even in the dream I had I was chanting whilst observing the dream, the dream was some mundane dream, informing of an incident that would happen the next day, and when I woke up I was still chanting... so not sure if that counts as completing 1 day and 1 night, maybe not, seeing there could of been moments where I completely stopped chanting and I just don't remember.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Osiris Rock
Found an Osiris Rock, phallic shaped, at the beach, on friday it was placed on the round Isis stone.
Lunar Eclipse
I woke up at 5am Wednesday morning to the moon shinning through my window at the start of the eclipse.
Went down to the beach to watch it, as it was setting in the west.
Walking along the beach, trying to catch glimpses between the moments of cloud cover, and was nice to see Venus shinning brightly in the opposite east at the same time.
Very much 8th house energy for me at the time, as the moon/rahu eclipse happened in Scorpio the 8th sign, and Venus/Rahu are in my 8th house in the moon ruled Cancer, so I took advantage to perform some rituals.
The full moon was really powerful this time,,, it was blowing my mind almost... with cool refreshing energy.
Went down to the beach to watch it, as it was setting in the west.
Walking along the beach, trying to catch glimpses between the moments of cloud cover, and was nice to see Venus shinning brightly in the opposite east at the same time.
Very much 8th house energy for me at the time, as the moon/rahu eclipse happened in Scorpio the 8th sign, and Venus/Rahu are in my 8th house in the moon ruled Cancer, so I took advantage to perform some rituals.
The full moon was really powerful this time,,, it was blowing my mind almost... with cool refreshing energy.
capital idea there...
I remember reading about a Christian Nun who was very happy when her parents died because they wanted her to get married to a man, and with their deaths she could pursue her true wishes of becoming a nun.
Most people may think she was heartless to be happy at her parents death, but I think she was just being practical and realistic - looking for a positive in a situation that she could use to propel her towards her goals.
Most people may think she was heartless to be happy at her parents death, but I think she was just being practical and realistic - looking for a positive in a situation that she could use to propel her towards her goals.
Question?
I've thought too many times "What do I really want?"
Asked and waited for answers..
Expected some strong sentiment to rise and take me over with strong conviction...
But instead nothing... silence... emptiness... (and not the good kind either).
But it suddenly dawns on me that maybe its the wrong question...
Maybe the question should be... "What does God want?".
Asked and waited for answers..
Expected some strong sentiment to rise and take me over with strong conviction...
But instead nothing... silence... emptiness... (and not the good kind either).
But it suddenly dawns on me that maybe its the wrong question...
Maybe the question should be... "What does God want?".
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Security around traffic works
I came across a really disgusting male energy the other day in the form of a Security Guard, barking at me to walk on the footpath.
If a police state was to ever occur - these sorts of people, would be the first inline to volunteer to round up and beat, torture their fellow humans.
That sort of male energy I think is very ugly, males should be protective and gentle towards females, not barking orders like low level hogs.
Some males who take up the Security role, obviously get off on the power trip, and maybe it would be better if they went off and "shooted" their load elsewhere, then trying to shoot it out in their speech!
Even if he was just a total sell out to idiocy, doing his job, he still could of approached it differently, he could of approached me in an apologetic way, rolling his eyes and making fun of the stupid structures, while asking me to walk on the footpath.
As it was, his Security buddy was walking along the footpath smoking a cigarette - more dangerous for me to be on the footpath inhaling second hand smoke, then it was to be walking around the carpark near the tree's (where there was no danger of anything happening to me anyway!), and tree's equal better to health then the ugly dirty concrete!
These sorts of people are a real worry - those who have no sense of their own ethics and morality and just defer to whatever the state claims is moral and ethical - couple that with testosterone, an agro nature, getting off on power trips, and brutish hog Neanderthal behaviour... and its a recipe for disaster.
If a police state was to ever occur - these sorts of people, would be the first inline to volunteer to round up and beat, torture their fellow humans.
That sort of male energy I think is very ugly, males should be protective and gentle towards females, not barking orders like low level hogs.
Some males who take up the Security role, obviously get off on the power trip, and maybe it would be better if they went off and "shooted" their load elsewhere, then trying to shoot it out in their speech!
Even if he was just a total sell out to idiocy, doing his job, he still could of approached it differently, he could of approached me in an apologetic way, rolling his eyes and making fun of the stupid structures, while asking me to walk on the footpath.
As it was, his Security buddy was walking along the footpath smoking a cigarette - more dangerous for me to be on the footpath inhaling second hand smoke, then it was to be walking around the carpark near the tree's (where there was no danger of anything happening to me anyway!), and tree's equal better to health then the ugly dirty concrete!
These sorts of people are a real worry - those who have no sense of their own ethics and morality and just defer to whatever the state claims is moral and ethical - couple that with testosterone, an agro nature, getting off on power trips, and brutish hog Neanderthal behaviour... and its a recipe for disaster.
Doubly fallen
Some people who have restricted their behaviours in the past to attempt to live a more "pure" lifestlye develop massive complexes after turning away from the pure lifestyle behaviours.
I have encountered people like this, who used to be vegetarian, and not drink alcohol etc, because thats what the religion they followed told them to do, but obviously they never actually made the choices based on developing a higher taste in the first place, so that's why they cannot maintain the behaviours.
The strange thing is that they become very threatened by anyone who continues to maintain the pure life style behaviors - that they themselves have determined to leave behind - and they then look on those who maintain the behaviors as repressed, and not embracing life!
(What a complete and utter load of delusion that notion is... that one embraces life by being really loose and just following each momentary passing whim of selfish sense gratification! )
In talking to these types, it becomes very obvious... the freedom they seek is to be able to do whatever they want and they have this sort of arrogance that they can cope with the consequences of their actions too. They also present these arguments justifying their positions as if they were really "logical" but they actually don't make any sense.
It seems like people just like to feel good about themselves - whatever they do, regardless of what it is, so they just live by justifications.... and build up philosophies that support their current position in life.
Of course I have to be careful too in this area, both in making sure I don't make justifications, and also in making sure I don't hold others to my own standards of purity.
I have come to see that that is one big problem that can develop, is assuming the standards that fit with my values and perceptions should be held over others, this is just me trying to make myself as the center yardstick of the actions of others, which isn't my true eternal position anyway.
I have encountered people like this, who used to be vegetarian, and not drink alcohol etc, because thats what the religion they followed told them to do, but obviously they never actually made the choices based on developing a higher taste in the first place, so that's why they cannot maintain the behaviours.
The strange thing is that they become very threatened by anyone who continues to maintain the pure life style behaviors - that they themselves have determined to leave behind - and they then look on those who maintain the behaviors as repressed, and not embracing life!
(What a complete and utter load of delusion that notion is... that one embraces life by being really loose and just following each momentary passing whim of selfish sense gratification! )
In talking to these types, it becomes very obvious... the freedom they seek is to be able to do whatever they want and they have this sort of arrogance that they can cope with the consequences of their actions too. They also present these arguments justifying their positions as if they were really "logical" but they actually don't make any sense.
It seems like people just like to feel good about themselves - whatever they do, regardless of what it is, so they just live by justifications.... and build up philosophies that support their current position in life.
Of course I have to be careful too in this area, both in making sure I don't make justifications, and also in making sure I don't hold others to my own standards of purity.
I have come to see that that is one big problem that can develop, is assuming the standards that fit with my values and perceptions should be held over others, this is just me trying to make myself as the center yardstick of the actions of others, which isn't my true eternal position anyway.
Wearing...
When I first found out about the story of Rudraksha coming from Lord Shiva's tears, I was very excited, and I did long to have some near my skin. I don't always wear the ones I have, as I like to experience the seperation from them too - but when I am reminded I look over and smile.
There is something very attractive about them.
My friend ordered me a lotus seed mala, but funnily enough, when they arrived (the moon was in Mula, which is also where my natal moon is placed... Alakshmi strikes! :P), there were not even a 108 on there, (only about 103) and a couple of them were cracked. They said they'd send out another one to replace, but they haven't yet, so I'm left trying to decide what to do with the one I have, I did think of taking it apart and making a half size one, which I think I will probably do, but I haven't mustered the courage yet to try, as I think the knotting in between the beads will be fiddly to do well - hence stressful on the nervous system.
There is something very attractive about them.
My friend ordered me a lotus seed mala, but funnily enough, when they arrived (the moon was in Mula, which is also where my natal moon is placed... Alakshmi strikes! :P), there were not even a 108 on there, (only about 103) and a couple of them were cracked. They said they'd send out another one to replace, but they haven't yet, so I'm left trying to decide what to do with the one I have, I did think of taking it apart and making a half size one, which I think I will probably do, but I haven't mustered the courage yet to try, as I think the knotting in between the beads will be fiddly to do well - hence stressful on the nervous system.
The most desirable relationship of all - with fellow souls...
I don't want to be a lover,
A Sister,
Or a Daughter,
I don't want to be a grandmother,
An Aunt,
Or a niece...
Don't want to have a Father, or a Mother... or any family relations.
The only relationship that interests me between me and other souls - is that of friendship. Seeing we are all just revolving around the supersoul anyway, how could I possibly make any other soul my center? It would just seem ludicrous. The more close one becomes to a person the more one has to "attune" themselves to that person, and by the nature of that becomes, "that person consciousness".
In the romantic relationship people seek fulfillment and attentiveness from their partner, they want to share, want to be held, want to be thought of as precious, admired, doted upon etc etc... it just ends up being extremely tamasic, especially when people hold on to each other for dear life in such dull and deadened states (which they call romantic hugs!).
A Sister,
Or a Daughter,
I don't want to be a grandmother,
An Aunt,
Or a niece...
Don't want to have a Father, or a Mother... or any family relations.
The only relationship that interests me between me and other souls - is that of friendship. Seeing we are all just revolving around the supersoul anyway, how could I possibly make any other soul my center? It would just seem ludicrous. The more close one becomes to a person the more one has to "attune" themselves to that person, and by the nature of that becomes, "that person consciousness".
In the romantic relationship people seek fulfillment and attentiveness from their partner, they want to share, want to be held, want to be thought of as precious, admired, doted upon etc etc... it just ends up being extremely tamasic, especially when people hold on to each other for dear life in such dull and deadened states (which they call romantic hugs!).
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Welcome...
Welcome to the rehabilitation center for selfish demons...
First co-operation is sought to be reached.
Learning the art of Compromise... being less forceful in pursuing one's own will - the first task.
Old enemies become allies, helping each other towards mutually beneficial goals.
The will becomes old and worn, the range of potential prizes becomes boring.
Suspicion arises... surely this can't be all there is... there must be something greater...
First co-operation is sought to be reached.
Learning the art of Compromise... being less forceful in pursuing one's own will - the first task.
Old enemies become allies, helping each other towards mutually beneficial goals.
The will becomes old and worn, the range of potential prizes becomes boring.
Suspicion arises... surely this can't be all there is... there must be something greater...
Mental concoctions...
This mind is a merry go round
Without the merry
Round and round it goes.
Seeking distraction at every turn.
Every hope is a thief in disguise,
Promises much,
But inhibits the prize...
Constantly seeking something to ride,
Constantly seeking places to hide.
No place is safe, the defenses are high,
Landscape surreal, the worlds are all lies.
Nightmares, daydreams, wonders and treats,
All come together to bind one in sleep.
On and on, the merry go round...
There is no relief in sight and in sound,
So absorbed in limited woes,
Being pushed and pulled,
How long can it go?
Without the merry
Round and round it goes.
Seeking distraction at every turn.
Every hope is a thief in disguise,
Promises much,
But inhibits the prize...
Constantly seeking something to ride,
Constantly seeking places to hide.
No place is safe, the defenses are high,
Landscape surreal, the worlds are all lies.
Nightmares, daydreams, wonders and treats,
All come together to bind one in sleep.
On and on, the merry go round...
There is no relief in sight and in sound,
So absorbed in limited woes,
Being pushed and pulled,
How long can it go?
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Slut Walk
There is an event known as Slut Walk which is due to happen in Adelaide.
When a certain person I knew found out about this he said in a surprised tone
"What demon organised that?"
He automatically assumed from the title that some clever demon organised it, so that there would be an excuse to see women walk around in revealing clothing....
Takes a demon to know a demon of course :P
In cultures where both genders are raised from birth wearing very little, or nothing, its really no big deal. People have gone crazy in this culture, even though many think they are more evolved then in the Victorian era... well if they were so, then why would the prospect of seeing someone in "skimpy" clothing be so exciting? Why do people enjoy lame "strip shows"?
The whole purpose of the Slut Walk is to help reduce "victim blaming" as they say, women should be able to wear whatever they want and not be blamed or labeled wrongly for it. It is those who commit the crimes who are the bad ones, not the women in skimpy clothing.
Despite being a woman, I think the whole idea is stupid.
Here is what I think:
If one is raped or sexually abused by a male it is because it is a karmic potential that has ripened that has come about due to past actions... in that sense, any victim of ANYTHING should always consider why they are a victim... if one knows of natural law and that it is completely just, and that one receives exactly what they deserve... then how is going to do a walk/protest - going to stop these sorts of things?
Is a walk/protest the right remedial measure to avert the negative karma developing of having to experience being raped/abused????
No, of course not!
If one has created such a situation for themselves due to their activities in past lives, that is due to happen in the future, then one must work on doing remedial measures of some kind. Educating people on the proper remedial measures, surely is more helpful then leading them blindly into some protest.
There is a lot of arrogance nowadays with women thinking they can go around doing whatever they want, regardless of their place/role within the natural scheme of things.
If a man is unable to self-control his Penis, as he is so low and driven by impulses he cannot control, then why would you as a woman, want to place yourself in the vicinity of such creatures? It doesn't make much sense to me. Obviously the major place these creatures hang about is any seedy type place, as it matches their energy so they are attracted there.
One doesn't go into shark infested waters and expect that the sharks are not going to try and eat them just because they make a big song and dance about not blaming the victim!
There are beings out there that really want to harm others, and so one always has to be cautious, because most of us here have probably done lots of horrible things to other beings in many lifetimes, and who knows when those karmas may ripen!
If you want to reach males likely to commit rape/abuse and to stop it, then the education system needs to change, people need to be properly educated on how to use their sexual energy in a healthy way from a young age. And of course the whole society would have to completely change, so all the other deprived aspects are removed.
The other factor to consider is the propensity for the "hunt", which is an archetypal part of masculine psychology. A lot of Pagan cultures were well aware of this and incorporated this theme within rituals to give it ritualistic expression and relieve the burden of repression of it which might lead to people harming others.
Many people in human birth still have strong patterning from previous animal births etc... so these urges need to be properly dealt with. The use of ritual dance story myth etc is a way to constructively give these energies expression without them causing ruin.
The other thing is when a person says "you know maybe you shouldn't wear that dress because it might attract the wrong kind of guy, or, maybe you shouldn't go out and get drunk and put yourself in a vulnerable position... " it can also be because of a kind of care towards the person, it's not always because of blaming the potential victim, its more about making sure that a person takes proper precautions to keep themselves "safe".
Surely there is nothing good about harming others in anyway... but there are ways that harm can be minimised from both the potential "victims" end as well as the "attackers" end.
The aim should be in both cases to reduce the negative harmful karmas between individuals, through cultivating more positive and wholesome ones.... when one stops attempting to be the central enjoying agent, and if this is taught to people early on, then it will become second nature for everyone to question any unwholesome urges that may arise in ones being.
When a certain person I knew found out about this he said in a surprised tone
"What demon organised that?"
He automatically assumed from the title that some clever demon organised it, so that there would be an excuse to see women walk around in revealing clothing....
Takes a demon to know a demon of course :P
In cultures where both genders are raised from birth wearing very little, or nothing, its really no big deal. People have gone crazy in this culture, even though many think they are more evolved then in the Victorian era... well if they were so, then why would the prospect of seeing someone in "skimpy" clothing be so exciting? Why do people enjoy lame "strip shows"?
The whole purpose of the Slut Walk is to help reduce "victim blaming" as they say, women should be able to wear whatever they want and not be blamed or labeled wrongly for it. It is those who commit the crimes who are the bad ones, not the women in skimpy clothing.
Despite being a woman, I think the whole idea is stupid.
Here is what I think:
If one is raped or sexually abused by a male it is because it is a karmic potential that has ripened that has come about due to past actions... in that sense, any victim of ANYTHING should always consider why they are a victim... if one knows of natural law and that it is completely just, and that one receives exactly what they deserve... then how is going to do a walk/protest - going to stop these sorts of things?
Is a walk/protest the right remedial measure to avert the negative karma developing of having to experience being raped/abused????
No, of course not!
If one has created such a situation for themselves due to their activities in past lives, that is due to happen in the future, then one must work on doing remedial measures of some kind. Educating people on the proper remedial measures, surely is more helpful then leading them blindly into some protest.
There is a lot of arrogance nowadays with women thinking they can go around doing whatever they want, regardless of their place/role within the natural scheme of things.
If a man is unable to self-control his Penis, as he is so low and driven by impulses he cannot control, then why would you as a woman, want to place yourself in the vicinity of such creatures? It doesn't make much sense to me. Obviously the major place these creatures hang about is any seedy type place, as it matches their energy so they are attracted there.
One doesn't go into shark infested waters and expect that the sharks are not going to try and eat them just because they make a big song and dance about not blaming the victim!
There are beings out there that really want to harm others, and so one always has to be cautious, because most of us here have probably done lots of horrible things to other beings in many lifetimes, and who knows when those karmas may ripen!
If you want to reach males likely to commit rape/abuse and to stop it, then the education system needs to change, people need to be properly educated on how to use their sexual energy in a healthy way from a young age. And of course the whole society would have to completely change, so all the other deprived aspects are removed.
The other factor to consider is the propensity for the "hunt", which is an archetypal part of masculine psychology. A lot of Pagan cultures were well aware of this and incorporated this theme within rituals to give it ritualistic expression and relieve the burden of repression of it which might lead to people harming others.
Many people in human birth still have strong patterning from previous animal births etc... so these urges need to be properly dealt with. The use of ritual dance story myth etc is a way to constructively give these energies expression without them causing ruin.
The other thing is when a person says "you know maybe you shouldn't wear that dress because it might attract the wrong kind of guy, or, maybe you shouldn't go out and get drunk and put yourself in a vulnerable position... " it can also be because of a kind of care towards the person, it's not always because of blaming the potential victim, its more about making sure that a person takes proper precautions to keep themselves "safe".
Surely there is nothing good about harming others in anyway... but there are ways that harm can be minimised from both the potential "victims" end as well as the "attackers" end.
The aim should be in both cases to reduce the negative harmful karmas between individuals, through cultivating more positive and wholesome ones.... when one stops attempting to be the central enjoying agent, and if this is taught to people early on, then it will become second nature for everyone to question any unwholesome urges that may arise in ones being.
Nature V's Suburbs...
Recently spent some time at Cape Jervis.
Slept under the stars which was really nice, out in the open air, was a bit windy, and the stars make it hard for me to sleep, cause there is that bright cool luminous shinning feeling I get inside my forehead.
At one stage I woke up, and the Galactic Center was right over head, so I tried to focus on that in between waking up and sleeping again.
I am missing being able to see Pleiades in the sky at night, the Sun is getting closer, at least soon Vega should be visible again!
This time it really left such an impression on me, the environment there, so much so when I returned to where I live I couldn't get the trees out of my mind, and I almost felt some sort of psychic connection with the place. It was a really heavy and earthy impression to it.
I also realised how wonderful it is to be completely challenged, and forgo the comfort of that which was familiar, I think for the first time I really began to enjoy that, it does feel more like living.
Watching a Rosella bird that liked to come to eat seeds, I noticed how it could never eat in peace, it would take a few nibbles and quickly look around to make sure there was no danger or threat... then I thought about how fake it is for humans, sitting around in their houses, totally complacent, especially when they are lounging around and drinking alcohol, or some other drug, with no sense that there is anything to be cautious or alert about.
The more prospect for danger there is, the more potential there is for death to occur at any moment, the more precious the opportunity of human birth becomes.
It's also so much better washing out doors and letting the sunlight also clean the body, rather then being inside with a shower, in a bathroom which just develops mould and mildue, and closed in by four walls.
It takes me longer to do things, because I need to use different methods out in nature, but there is also less things that need to be done, so in the end there is still more time to pursue spiritual activities, once the daily maintenance/survival issues are taken care of.
Slept under the stars which was really nice, out in the open air, was a bit windy, and the stars make it hard for me to sleep, cause there is that bright cool luminous shinning feeling I get inside my forehead.
At one stage I woke up, and the Galactic Center was right over head, so I tried to focus on that in between waking up and sleeping again.
I am missing being able to see Pleiades in the sky at night, the Sun is getting closer, at least soon Vega should be visible again!
This time it really left such an impression on me, the environment there, so much so when I returned to where I live I couldn't get the trees out of my mind, and I almost felt some sort of psychic connection with the place. It was a really heavy and earthy impression to it.
I also realised how wonderful it is to be completely challenged, and forgo the comfort of that which was familiar, I think for the first time I really began to enjoy that, it does feel more like living.
Watching a Rosella bird that liked to come to eat seeds, I noticed how it could never eat in peace, it would take a few nibbles and quickly look around to make sure there was no danger or threat... then I thought about how fake it is for humans, sitting around in their houses, totally complacent, especially when they are lounging around and drinking alcohol, or some other drug, with no sense that there is anything to be cautious or alert about.
The more prospect for danger there is, the more potential there is for death to occur at any moment, the more precious the opportunity of human birth becomes.
It's also so much better washing out doors and letting the sunlight also clean the body, rather then being inside with a shower, in a bathroom which just develops mould and mildue, and closed in by four walls.
It takes me longer to do things, because I need to use different methods out in nature, but there is also less things that need to be done, so in the end there is still more time to pursue spiritual activities, once the daily maintenance/survival issues are taken care of.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Fear... the little Imp... and beware the Greeks!
There is still some sort of deep seated stubbornness and resistance deep within my psychology... and I find that extremely frightening....
I know there is that famous quote: The only thing to fear is fear itself.
But I disagree...
The only thing to fear is inner resistance towards all that is good.
---
Imp's are good at mimicking.... but they are not good for much else.
The inner imp is so tortured, but there is some craving there, to get to the galactic center - which is the curious thing. When I first read of the Galactic Center, the little Imp got so excited, but sort of in this intense self-loathing/deprived way, like Golum is with the Ring... I think the little Imp just wants to end its existence - for good.
*Just to clarify - when I say "little Imp" I am talking about a particular strong personality patterning of Impish nature that is within myself - groupings of personality traits tend to become "caricatures" in my mind. In this sense, there are many characters within myself - all battling for supremacy over my soul. The little Imp is just one of them. The biggest threat always comes from inside the self, just as the Trogan Horse within the city of Troy (city of Troy representing ones "form") brought about downfall.*
---
Beware of Greeks baring gifts they say.
Convincing someone to accept a "gift" that they are not entitled to, is enough to bring about the downfall. Entitlement in the sense of not having the ability to properly deal with/digest the situation. The temptation to be a receiver of "gifts"... one cannot really blame the "temptor" in such a circumstance,the fault lies with the one who allows themselves to succumb, after all they are the ones that will have to "wear" the results.
Be aware of the self that is tempted by gifts....
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Imperfection can yield positive results...
Imperfect results help to remind one, that one is not the absolute source of perfection, and that one shouldn't expect to gain 100% perfection through any action they attempt, as they will be doomed to fail.
Inefficiency is attempting to achieve a goal that is doomed to never be realised.
Of all the things that rise and fall,
None of them contain anything of real interest.
Whatever interest they do pay out,
Always ends in debt.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Another message...
Got another message at my door, in the same fashion as the last one, this one said:
Decorate
Yes you can afford to Build.
It has been on my mind lately about re-designing the interior of my living space to create better flow of energy, so I guess its confirmation that the time is ripe! I take the last one to mean I can afford to have the time to re-do it.
I still have trouble attempting to maintain things that I know are of a temporal nature, it just seems in-efficient in a way. If somethings not eternal, then whats the point?
It's sort of the way I view my body too, like a walking corpse, marked to rot and decay - but I am changing my thinking slowly in that regard, cause its not really so much about the end result but the potential to perfect oneself through out the journey - the threat of death and decay is needed to make every moment more important.
My current way of thinking is that, the whole purpose of life is to perfect the personality to make it develop the qualities that will help sustain it and allow it to have eternal life. There are obviously certain qualities that the multi-verse supports in that way, so without developing those qualities how can one be supported eternally? The whole drama of life is nothing more then an opportunity to make those supported qualities more stronger then the un-supported qualities.
The un-supported qualities, being those that are subject to death and decay and limited by time. If I identify with the qualities that are subject to death and decay and are non-sustaining, then I will also meet that fate.
So I must connect with the reservoir of good qualities, to develop in that way.
I'm beginning to see that the biggest trick anyone has ever fallen for on earth, is the idea that having a particular experience for the sake of experiencing it, is the whole point of living. The whole idea, that the point of life is to just have experiences, one experience after the next. Those that are hungry for experience, I experience as a gapping big black hole.... greedy for the sensations of experience.
And to top it off those who are most greedy for experiences, don't even know how to properly digest the experiences! They don't even let there be time for an experience to settle, they just want to jump right bang into a new experience. Nothing, no essence of anything, is extracted in this way, no wisdom is gained at all.
And then people rave on and on about people having more "life experience".... well so what! Life experience is only meaningful and useful if its actually been properly digested! There are not that many old people around who are shinning examples of this in this day and age!
That's probably why all the newagers turned to "children" as the saviours, with the whole Indigo/Crystal/Rainbow child thing... the old people who were supposed to be "wiser" etc, are instead just broken records run on repeat, a sign of the degraded times.
A child has less access to "personal baggage" as in this life they have had less experiences and hence, less weight of indigestion is apparent when they are young, and so they appear wiser then the older people, who are weighed down by years and years of improperly digested experience.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
One morning I awoke to find at my door....
At my door about a month ago, at the footstep of my door I found the above scrap of paper.
Somehow it had managed to dislodge itself from some type of Newspaper,
And the wind had landed it.
The way it is photographed is actually how I found it.
It was a timely message/reminder for me.
And I thought I should document it here,
So it could also be a reminder for others.
The clock is ticking...
Death is only a moment away.
Best to find out why you are here for, before its too late...
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Nemesis
"The word Nemesis originally meant the distributor of fortune, neither good nor bad, simply in due proportion to each according to what was deserved; then, nemesis came to suggest the resentment caused by any disturbance of this right proportion, the sense of justice which could not allow it to pass unpunished."
This is interesting...
Does the progression of the meaning of the word show the course humanity is taking? In the past people sought to understood the workings of destiny, they were peaceful and comfortable with what fate delivered as they knew they were reaping what they sowed. In the past there was no need to "resent" the process. To resent the process would of been foolish, as each individual themselves, creates through their own actions - what they are due to experience in the present.
Interesting then, that the meaning changed to relate to "resentment". Which also translates to lack of "taking responsibility" for ones own choices/actions of the past! The resentment came to mean - that there had been a disturbance to the so called "right portion" that one was due.
So suddenly it becomes humans declaring what is their "right proportion", and fighting against their fate. (As if they even know what it is that they truly deserve!) So arrogance/pride becomes higher. Justice becomes important too. This causes people to forget the causes of their current conditions. The cause being ones former actions.
Instead of remembering, they begin to blame others, and see others as the cause of problems for them, and then they lash out with claims of seeking justice and punishment.
A lot of what is thought of as Justice in the modern age is extremely petty, and revolves around people trying to escape the results of their own actions. If a person is randomly hit by an egg from a passing by car of hoon kids, they may seek justice upon the kids. It would usually not cross the persons mind to accept it as something that they themselves generated in the past through their own deeds. After all hoon kids could choose any number of people to throw eggs at, why would they choose one person over the other?
Isn't every single thing that happens "deserved" or to put it in another way "earned"????
The full implications of what is actually being earned may escape some. Such as the person who is born into a wealthy family and is given plenty of resources (resources that have contributed to the destruction of nature and other peoples lives).... sure the wealthy teenager may cruise around in their fancy car thinking, "wow I earned all this in my past, I have plenty of money, time to enjoy".... but this is just a surface level result.
The deeper result is the teenager is inheriting all the pain/suffering that went along with securing those resources from his family. If he/she sits around squandering it on their own selfish whims, then it is just like one of those traps, used to capture people in the woods. The earth looks like its there, with leave coverings etc, but as soon as you step over it and apply a bit of weight and pressure, you sink into the hole and then you are stuck.
It seems that until humans decide to take responsibility for all they have created through ignorance, that they are just going to go around assuming that what they desire for themselves is what they should be given - and then feel resentment/angry when it does not work out!
Also lets add to the fact that most people have very mixed modes of things they are creating for themselves. Intentions are very rarely single focussed and purely in one direction. If people are in delusion about themselves how can their intentions be anything other then delusional also?
The law of cause and effect determines the results whilst one is bound by them, if people truly know this then how can they feel resentful/angry/prideful etc at what they receive?
So the further back meanings of the word Nemesis seems to point to an earlier time, when people were at least more aware of that.
Now Nemesis means "arch rival" or "enemy"... interesting isn't it? That the current results a person faces in there here and now because of past activities... suddenly becomes as an - "Enemy".
Not only an enemy, but a very special enemy. Nemesis in popular culture is often portrayed as a an opponent that one can never really defeat and is always against one, that one literally cannot live without! Without that "Nemesis" they could not be who they are! If they are white, then they need a Nemesis to be the opposite so that they can really know they are white, etc...
Interesting, its showing how humans are now completely inimical towards their own "current results!"
"In the Greek tragedies Nemesis appears chiefly as the avenger of crime and the punisher of hubris"
Yes, so hubris itself is a result of one not being able to humbly accept what they have created for themselves through their own ignorance. So again this is interesting.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis_(mythology) - quotes used above.
The true Nemesis (as far as popular usage of the word goes) therefore is ones own self. A self that can properly understand cause and effect will not experience "Nemesis" with resentment, they will not feel inimical towards their fate. They will see Nemesis merely as a universal function, the function is not at fault if they receive suffering results - they themselves are.
A self that cannot properly understand cause and effect, will always received mixed results, and those mixed results will always end in enmity with "Nemesis", and therefore enmity with ones own self. This enmity can be masked as a need to indulge all self-centered whims, self-sabotaging ones ability to truly be free of enmity with Nemesis.
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